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Follow traditions - for good or bad?

Family traditions 

In the bustle of city life, family values are leveled down, and only few people prepare a three-course meal every day. Many today are completely convinced that their family does not have no special traditions. But it turns out that family foundations, consciously or unconsciously are laid down by parents, live deep inside each person and shape its character and attitude to life.

The role of family traditions is enormous, although most of them seem insignificant. The banal wish of good night is already a tradition in itself. A goodbye kiss, Sunday pancakes and homework checking are small bricks that lay the foundation of life, giving stability and confidence in tomorrow. After all, tomorrow there will again be “Good Morning”, and again tasks in mathematics, and so, in a circle woven from simple daily rituals.

Even cooking together is already a tradition.

Even cooking together is already a tradition, photo WEB

Many family values and traditions give a feeling of solid ground under feet, but there are also those that are useless and frankly dangerous. They ruin families, cause depression, undermine confidence in themselves and in loved ones ... But most importantly, they live so deeply in consciousness that they become part of the individual, and therefore they are so difficult to identify and eradicate.

Traditions of family education imprint on a person’s life. Mom tells her daughter that in the evening there should be a homemade dinner on the table. Authorities are unshakable, and her every word is an axiom. And the girl grows, builds a career, but no matter how tired, cooks hot dish, salad and dessert. A good, in fact, tradition squeezes strength out of a young woman and, it seems, only harms.

This is an introjection, the inclusion in the inner world of others' views and the perception of them as our own. Mom's suggestion does not allow to get out of the thought that by asking for help from a spouse, you can change the long-term ritual and not drop your feminine dignity. This is the realization of introjections, the revaluation of rules and the correction of unnecessary attitudes.

Mom is an authority from childhood

Mom is an authority from childhood, photo WEB

There are hundreds of such examples, and the solution to such problems is one thing - try on family-style traditions like clothes, and if they are too tight, throw them out without regret. The value of family traditions is often exaggerated. Time is running, values are changing, priorities are set differently, even the concept of a family today is strikingly different from what was adopted 50 years ago. Good or bad - not the topic of this conversation. Its purpose is to inform that family foundations can be a life-saving anchor in the stream of life, which will make it possible to survive the storm, and an underwater rock that can be easily broken.

Why do we need family traditions? They unite family, remind of respect for their ancestors, make to honor their elders. And yet, this is an invaluable experience of previous generations, to lose it is a big omission. Familiarization with family traditions is an important component of child rearing. Certain rituals and rules develop responsibility in a small person, give him a sense of unity with loved ones, make him feel part of something big and unshakeable, something that instills confidence and a sense of security ... But this is in childhood, and over the years, their own experience is made up of hundreds doubts and attempts, observations of others' lives and the ability to draw conclusions.

Christmas tree decoration is a good example of family tradition.

Christmas tree decoration is a good example of family tradition, photo WEB

Important family traditions, to which parents are faithful, are often completely unsuitable for their children, who are building their own family. Changing them is not a crime, but a simple adaptation. Other people, with other goals, cannot live in a completely new society just like their ancestors. Therefore, parents and family traditions are not the only sources of useful rules, and sometimes an example of how to do it is not necessary. And yet, it is here that the surest clues about how to build your own life will surely be found.

Each new family is a clean sheet, on which the experience and the foundations of previous generations cast shadows. Be not biased, listen to yourself and circle in bold what will bring comfort to your life. Erase what causes the negative, and find a compromise in controversial issues. In your hands, the formation of new family traditions that will unite all the best that ancestors have accumulated over the years, and eradicate that which for many years prevented us from breathing deeply.

Victoria Romanova, Russia, Moscow

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