Care for aquarium fish: simple rules and little secrets
It seems to many young parents that the world is focused in a child, and millions of their own doubts and advice from outside do not leave a chance for a sober assessment of what is happening. Trying to raise their child properly, the newly-made mom and dad find themselves trapped in stereotypes, which are almost impossible to follow in practice. The painful desire to become the best parents keeps in constant tension, causing a dangerous condition - parental stress.
Life is flowing. Priorities change, new opportunities appear, the old rules become obsolete. Today, families rarely have more than one child, much more often patents put all their love, energy and money into an only child. And then there is a dissonance - as so, our grandmothers raised ten children, and we barely cope with one! Maybe we should try harder? Pay more attention, feed better, develop more actively, work hard, and sleep less, and all this is not at the expense of communication ... Stop. Experts say that from such thoughts to a deep depression there are only few steps.
Mostly now there is only one child in the family, photo WEB
The concept of "parental burnout" recently didn't existed at all. Today, this phenomenon is becoming frightening. This is due to many factors - modern parents have potentially more time for children, they have free access to information (often unnecessary and harmful) and more opportunities to realize themselves as mom and dad.
However, seeing examples of other families, parents often set themselves too high slats and as a result suffer both imaginary and quite real failures in upbringing. This is natural, because people aren't born parents, it is difficult for them to realize and accept their own “imperfection”. As a result, the feeling of helplessness becomes all-encompassing, hands fall from powerlessness and, most dangerously, the negative splashes go onto the child.
"Parental burnout" becomes frightening scales, photo WEB
The problem of parental stress is dangerous to ignore and can not be allowed to leak. This condition must be consciously fought. Psychologists recommend to follow simple rules that, as a result, will lead to the light of truth - an understanding of the great happiness of parenthood with all its mistakes, successes, achievements and defeats.
First of all, you need to recognize the existence of the problem, realize yourself in it and try to look out of the cocoon of depression, even if it seems that it sounds silly and trite. Be sure to bring positive in your life! Do not miss the opportunity to be with your child at any fun event, and if nothing suitable is located - arrange joint entertainment on your own. Try to experience as many positive emotions as possible with your baby, and when your communication will be complete and positive, you will be less worried about the opinions of others.
Try to bring positive in your life, photo WEB
However, at first, communicating with people outside the home will be a great way to deal with stress. Walk with other parents in the park, prefer live communication to virtual. And suddenly it will become clear that everyone has problems, and even a neighbor, who seemed to be doing so well with her twins. It will become noticeable that the children are different, and everything is not perfect, but on the other hand, the positive qualities of your own child will be much easier to detect.
Having managed to understand that a child is not a burden, not an exhibit that needs to be proudly shown, but a small friend with his aspirations and desires, allow yourself two weaknesses - slowness and the right to make a mistake. Do not rush the child, trying to "stick" it in your own schedule, because you still do not have time, but you will spend a lot of nerves. Better relax, set yourself fewer tasks and slow down the pace of your life. Believe me, this is not for long - children grow quickly. And accept the fact that mistakes are inevitable. Take them as a lesson, be aware and move on.
Communicating with people outside the home is a great way to deal with stress, photo WEB
Parental stress factors are sometimes meaningless little things: the condemnation of relatives, the opinion of friends, the successes of other children ... The lack of positives and the fear of spending time only for yourself warm up the developing depression. No matter what smart books write, no matter how people look around, it is important to remember one thing - the mother must be a healthy and balanced for child. Therefore, learn to rest. For real, without remorse. Sometimes it takes half an hour for the “reset” to take place, and now the little imp has once again become a rosy-cheeked angel, and the world has played around with completely new colors!
Victoria Romanova, Russia, Moscow